The doctors were stumped. The diagnoses ranged from Carpal Tunnel to Fibromyalgia. I was struck with terror - how would I survive if I could not work? I struggled to keep my independence but was soon lost in a maze of paper work and procedures generated by my doctors, my former employer, the long term disability carrier, state disability insurance, and worker's compensation. There were papers and forms all over my house. I couldn't think straight anymore. I flew off the handle at everyone. I was furious, scared, and in pain. (Later I read a report describing me at this time: "It is extremely difficult to hold a conversation with her.") After two years of struggling to cope with my situation by myself, I became completely overwhelmed by the bureaucracies. I was unable to complete even a simple form.
Finally, I found Paul DeMange at Independent Living Center--he was God-sent. He understood my difficulties and his overwhelming kindness gave me hope. He led me step-by-step through the arduous task of submitting forms and finding agencies who could help. He told me I needed to file for Social Security and filled out the application for me. Unfortunately, Social Security denied my application and my subsequent appeal. Paul sent me to The Hawkins Center for help with my Social Security case. I found out I had a complicated case, but my attorney, Jennifer Atkins, wrote such a wonderful brief that even the Judge commended her. I was finally granted my disability benefits.
It is hard to recognize me today. I no longer cry at the drop of a hat.
Receiving my benefits gave me the freedom to investigate worthy organizations
and find a niche for myself as a professional volunteer in the Mental Health
Consumer Movement. Despite my limitations, I have found ways to be of service
to others while helping myself. I have gone from staring at the walls day
after day to a full schedule of involvement making systemic changes in
some of the same agencies I had battled with for so long. Who would have
thought that one day I would be helping others who were in the same desperate
situation I was years ago? The blessings don't stop, but without the help
of The Hawkins Center and Independent Living Center, I believe I would
have been useless and homeless.